


Human Piñatas and Robot Doctors

by Bionerd2Point0



Series: JayTim Week 2020 [6]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Commercial Baymax Units, Day 6 - Robots, Established Relationship, Humor, Implied Canon-Typical Violence, JayTimWeek2020, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Tim's Spleenless Ass, implied Tim Drake Whump, the goons know who to fear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24508867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bionerd2Point0/pseuds/Bionerd2Point0
Summary: Tim gets caught by the Riddler, and there’s no escape in sight. No escape, that is, until an unlikely hero knocks on the door.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd
Series: JayTim Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765741
Comments: 47
Kudos: 292
Collections: JayTimWeek





	Human Piñatas and Robot Doctors

**Author's Note:**

> This was really fun to write. I don’t usually do comedy, but clarityhiding stuck a Baymax prompt on Discord and I wrote a blurb, then decided to expand that blurb into this. Clarityhiding is also the person I heard “Tim’s spleenless ass” from, and while she maintains that is was not coined by her, I love it, so thank you to whoever came up with it first!
> 
> As always, many thanks to the lovely feriswheel!! She’s the best beta a writer could ask for, and encourages my manic 5am writing. ILY BAE!!
> 
> Enjoy!

Pain shot up and down Tim’s body. The ache centered on the pull of his shoulders when it wasn’t sparking across his torso. Three hours as the Riddler’s goons’ human pinata and he was well and truly done with playing captive.

…Which would be a better thought if he were actually capable of escaping. As it stood, he had called in a comm blackout and then ten minutes later, got clocked over the head hard enough to disorient him so the goons could restrain him. Riddler was smart enough to figure out how to take off his gauntlets and boots, too. Given the  _ manacles _ locked around his wrists and the fact that his toes could just brush the ground? Things weren’t looking good.

Riddler himself was off to the side, mostly ignoring him to mess with a puzzle of some sort, probably to try and lure Batman into a trap with Tim’s life on the line or some shit. He was too sore to care. And pissed. Because Goon Number Two’s latest idea was to push at his feet, forcing Tim to put all his weight on his straining shoulders, and it was the most annoying thing on the face of the planet.

A series of knocks on the door echoed through the room, pulling Tim from his thoughts.

The entire room startled, heads whipping around to look at the heavy door of the warehouse. Tim would have liked to think it was his rescue, given the alarm crossing everyone else’s faces, but he hadn’t managed to trigger his emergency beacon before they had strung him up.

“Are we missing anyone?” Riddler finally asked.

The thirteen goons traded looks and shook their heads. This was clearly an unexpected guest, and Tim wasn’t ready to hedge his bets on a rescue. There were too many variables at play. 

The knocks repeated.

“Well, somebody see who it is! I don’t want any vagrants ruining this operation.”

The goon nearest to the door pulled a handgun out of the back of his pants—terrible idea, Jason would be making jokes about the guy shooting himself in the ass if he were here—and unbolted the door. Moving cautiously, he pulled it open enough to see out. Then, gun dropping down and head rearing back in surprise, he opened the door the rest of the way.

Outside, illuminated only by the yellowing street lights, was a Baymax unit.

“Uh, guys? Anybody got a Baymax looking for ‘em?”

The men started muttering amongst themselves, trying to see who had enough money to buy one of the medical robots. They were starting to get more affordable, and as such, it was becoming commonplace to see them around. It was still a novelty among the bowels of Gotham, though.

Tim, however, was mentally screaming.

“Hello! I am Baymax, Red Robin’s personal healthcare companion. I am sorry to interrupt, but I must administer his daily medication.”

The robot’s greeting was followed by a moment of stunned silence, no one seeming to know how to respond. Baymax used the time to cross over to where Tim was hanging from the rafters and start his examination.

“Extended suspension from the arms often leads to shoulder injuries and complications. I recommend avoiding activities that require this in the future.”

Someone in the room snorted loud enough to echo, and Tim looked over incredulously before staring at the ceiling in defeat.

“It appears you have sustained several small lacerations. I shall apply an antiseptic spray and add an antibiotic to your medications. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?”

The snickering came from multiple sources this time. Tim sighed hard enough to give a dance mom a run for her money.

“I’m fine, Baymax.”

Baymax tipped his head. “Red Hood has instructed me to contact him whenever you insist you are ‘fine.’ Calling Red Hood now.”

“Oh,  _ fuck _ .” It didn’t matter who said it, because everyone was clearly thinking it.

“Babybird?” Jason’s distorted voice crackled out from Baymax’s speakers, and the room exploded into motion.

“Everybody out,  _ now _ !” Riddler shouted. “I want this place cleared in two minutes, and anyone left is on their own!”

“Hey, Hood.” Tim ignored the chaos in the room, looking at the camera that he knew was transmitting video to Jason’s helmet. “Got a little tied up.”

“I can see that.” A pause. “You know where you are?”

Blinking, Tim tried to remember, and when that failed, he kicked out at the nearest goon, tripping the guy and making him flail to keep his balance. “Hey, where are we?”

The guy just blinked owlishly, looked at Baymax, and  _ bolted _ .

Tim turned back to Baymax and shrugged as much as his shoulders allowed, which he immediately regretted doing when more pain shot up his arms. .

“I’m tracking Baymax now.” 

Tim could hear the wind rushing as Jason moved.

“Be there in five, babybird. And then I’m gonna have a talk with you and your spleenless ass about emergency beacons.”

“Can it wait until tomorrow? I really just want to soak in a bath when I get home.”

Jason paused, and it was only years of experience letting Tim know that he was silently sighing. “We’ll see,” he said, but Tim grinned, because he knew he’d won.

Watching Riddler trip over his own men on his rush to get out the door, he couldn’t help but be thankful he’d let Jason talk him into buying a Baymax unit just for Red Robin. Turned out they could be useful in a variety of ways.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, today is my wedding day!!! As such, I am posting this to my phone, so any errors might take a few days for me to get around to fixing. Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!


End file.
